5.12.10

My life so far

In no time, Christmas and new year will soon kick in and just like that, one more year has passed. Seems like just yesterday, when I began the year 2010 by listing down my new year's resolutions in mind and making plans toward it. For me, the year 2010 is indifferent from the previous years. Same routine, circle of friends and it looks like nothing has changed. But to think about it, I think it's safe to say that I am no longer the same person I was a year ago.
I've learned that running away from pain will hurt even more than facing it. Attach and Detach. There's a chapter in Tuesdays with Morrie that says "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live". It basically means that rather than avoiding problem, it will be much easier if we let our emotions in to the problem. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then you can say, 'All right. I have experienced the emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment'. I am glad I let myself go with the pain (attach) rather than escaping from it, because only then I could realize what I realize now,-that pain (and loneliness) is nothing but a state of mind and now is the perfect time for me to detach from it. The year 2010 was both hell and heaven to me. I could still remember all those pointless drama, hectic exams, boring internship period, and how me and my friend cried happy tears in our car after our then boss told us not to come to the office ever again. (haha!)
The year 2010 could be just another average year in a nutshell, but for me, this year has taught me not to easily give up on my own belief, even when it means having to undergo all those fears and tears.
Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength (source)

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