I told you I was in a "vulnerable state" and truth is that it has been my weakness for the longest time to dwell in the past, to hold on to something that I should have let go long time ago and somehow pretend to be full of hope while at the same time sad and pessimistic.
But have you ever began chatting with someone whom you hardly know and ask yourself why you were not friends in the first place? Well that's how I feel about you when we first talked. And as I get to know you better, I was surprised at how you sometimes say or do things that make me say to myself from something like: "That's my favorite song, too" and "That's what I have been thinking, too!" to "No way, that's my dream, too!" It just really fascinates me how sometimes you know things about me that I have never told anyone before. And you are not even aware of that!
I remember writing in this blog about how I have turned bitter on love and all those romantic gestures, and I can't believe that now, 2 years after that post, I am here, safe, sound and...whole. It is as if every (really) bad things that I have gone through are all just a distant memory (or even a bad dream, who knows?)
Now I think that saying I love you is really an understatement, because I feel more than that. It feels as if I have found my real home, you know, that place, that sanctuary where I can express my feelings without being judged. I can start crying one night when I stumble upon a sad story on tumblr and all you did was wipe my tears away without looking at me differently or telling me that I'm weird or whatever. Or that weekend when you went back to your place and I was so lonely when I found a sweet note that you wrote in my phone days before. You always surprise me with what you do, even sometimes when you don't really try to.
If someone had told me few years ago that I would be able to feel and see what I am seeing and feeling now, I would have probably laughed and shrugged it off. Things really do get better after all.