8.2.11

Again, note to self.


That's the funny thing with growing old. As the years drift by, you began to understand that growing old doesn't always mean growing up. Even when you have reached your so-called legal age, or when you are old enough to make your own decision, you find yourself making the same mistakes again and again. You began to crave for that attention your parents gave when you were small, you wish you had time to sit down and read books -any books, without having to worry about your job or assignments, or you wish you were as free and careless as you were in your teenage years. But you assume realize that you have grown up so you began to fill those gap nonchalantly with things and pseudo emotions. Thinking that you have finally understood your responsibility as an adult, you began to surround yourself with your work, making lots and lots of money, spending weekends doing charts or presentation slides in the coffee shops, shopping for branded clothes and wear them around conceitedly. You find yourself avoiding sunlight while walking to your favorite cafĂ© during lunchtime as it will burn your skin and cost you another round of check-up with your skin specialist (but that's okay, you'll do a monthly check-up anyway), you apply heavy makeups to cover up your flaws and yet you still feel empty. 
Sometimes we, as adult, fail to understand the real meaning of growing up. We thought by calling ourself legal, we instinctively learn how to be grown ups. We spend our time running errands, chasing higher positions, achieving first-classes, spending money keeping up with the latest technology, and for what? We think our time is too precious to spend it at home, with the ones we truly love, the ones who stay and instead, we pay for those entertainment that doesn't guarantee a long-term contentment, we ignore the fact that we can get them all free, by making times for ourselves, by questioning what we really need, by slowing down our steps and listen to the music they play at the sidewalks, and most importantly, by doing things that make us happy, no matter how insignificant and pointless they might be. 

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